Ah yes... FEATURES="candy"
For those curious (its not too hard to find these in the emerge script either, they're right at the beginning) FEATURES="candy" will give you the following messages rather than the spinner:
Gentoo Rocks (Linux)
Thank you for using Gentoo.

Are you actually trying to read this?
How many times have you stared at this?
We are generating the cache right now
You are paying too much attention.
A theory is better than its explanation.
Phasers locked on target, Captain.
Thrashing is just virtual crashing.
To be is to program.
Real Users hate Real Programmers.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Functionality breeds Contempt.
The future lies ahead.
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971694
Sometimes insanity is the only alternative.
Inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
Also try on "emerge moo" for size (don't need the features setting for that)
