Gentoo Forums
Gentoo Forums
Gentoo Forums
Quick Search: in
Jokess
View unanswered posts
View posts from last 24 hours

Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 28, 29, 30  
This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Gentoo Forums Forum Index Off the Wall
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Muso
l33t
l33t


Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 690
Location: The Holy city of Honolulu

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

McGeekanot wrote:
Muso wrote:
McGeekanot wrote:
I've never understood why someone would want to drink decaffeinated coffee. Why?


It's like non-alcoholic beer.
What's your point?


The same as yours. Both are completely pointless.
_________________
People Of Love

Kindness Evokes Kindness

Peace Emits Positive Energy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
notageek
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper


Joined: 05 Jun 2008
Posts: 131
Location: MA, USA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
McGeekanot wrote:
Muso wrote:
McGeekanot wrote:
I've never understood why someone would want to drink decaffeinated coffee. Why?


It's like non-alcoholic beer.
What's your point?


The same as yours. Both are completely pointless.


You are pointless. Drink decaffeinated coffee at your heart's content.
_________________
"Defeat is a state of mind. No one is ever defeated, until defeat has been accepted as a reality." -- Bruce Lee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Muso
l33t
l33t


Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 690
Location: The Holy city of Honolulu

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

McGeekanot wrote:
You are pointless. Drink decaffeinated coffee at your heart's content.


???

I think you misunderstood what I typed. Decaffeinated coffee & non-alcoholic beers are both pointless drinks. Why drink coffee with no caffeine, or beer with no alcohol? Surely there's a better thing to drink.
_________________
People Of Love

Kindness Evokes Kindness

Peace Emits Positive Energy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
notageek
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper


Joined: 05 Jun 2008
Posts: 131
Location: MA, USA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was trying to be funny.
_________________
"Defeat is a state of mind. No one is ever defeated, until defeat has been accepted as a reality." -- Bruce Lee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
energyman76b
Advocate
Advocate


Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 2045
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
McGeekanot wrote:
You are pointless. Drink decaffeinated coffee at your heart's content.


???

I think you misunderstood what I typed. Decaffeinated coffee & non-alcoholic beers are both pointless drinks. Why drink coffee with no caffeine, or beer with no alcohol? Surely there's a better thing to drink.


some people like the taste.
_________________
Study finds stunning lack of racial, gender, and economic diversity among middle-class white males

I identify as a dirty penismensch.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
arnvidr
Guru
Guru


Joined: 19 Aug 2004
Posts: 558
Location: Oslo, Norway

PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
McGeekanot wrote:
You are pointless. Drink decaffeinated coffee at your heart's content.


???

I think you misunderstood what I typed. Decaffeinated coffee & non-alcoholic beers are both pointless drinks. Why drink coffee with no caffeine, or beer with no alcohol? Surely there's a better thing to drink.
Rule #1: Never assume NAG is being serious.
_________________
Noone wrote:
anything
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Dr.Willy
Guru
Guru


Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 414
Location: NRW, Germany

PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What if …?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Koala Kid
Guru
Guru


Joined: 09 May 2003
Posts: 378

PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are you as moral as you think you are?

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.

THE SITUATION:

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST:

Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.

It’s Donald Trump!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:

You can save the life of Donald Trump or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men hell bent on the destruction of USA.

THE QUESTION:

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.

"Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Muso
l33t
l33t


Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 690
Location: The Holy city of Honolulu

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:


1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.

4.If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean,
You may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim.

6. If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against,
You may be a Muslim.

7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You may be a Muslim.

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You may be a Muslim.

9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim
_________________
People Of Love

Kindness Evokes Kindness

Peace Emits Positive Energy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
notageek
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper


Joined: 05 Jun 2008
Posts: 131
Location: MA, USA

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim.
:lol:
_________________
"Defeat is a state of mind. No one is ever defeated, until defeat has been accepted as a reality." -- Bruce Lee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
pjp
Administrator
Administrator


Joined: 16 Apr 2002
Posts: 16713

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
on Muslims:
:lol:

I haven't publicly declared Jihad, so it probably doesn't count.
_________________
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring. -- Perry Cox
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
cokey
Advocate
Advocate


Joined: 23 Apr 2004
Posts: 3343

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 12:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he's a man after my own heart.
_________________
"Sex: breakfast of champions" - James Hunt
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Bones McCracker
Veteran
Veteran


Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 1605
Location: U.S.A.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cokey wrote:
My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he's a man after my own heart.

:lol: :lol:

After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and yer a chip off the ol' block.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Bones McCracker
Veteran
Veteran


Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 1605
Location: U.S.A.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 8:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The British doctor says, we took a dead man's balls and transplanted them to a living man and now he is looking for work.

The German doctor says: In Germany, we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Seven years ago, we took a Muslim with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for work!"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
pjp
Administrator
Administrator


Joined: 16 Apr 2002
Posts: 16713

PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2016 3:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol: :lol:
_________________
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring. -- Perry Cox
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
o'bogamol
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper


Joined: 01 Nov 2009
Posts: 90
Location: Detroit, Michigan - The Home of Rock and Roll

PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2016 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: How are the Twin Towers and gender similar?



A: There used to be two but it is offensive to joke about it.
_________________
What do we want?
Free Stuff!
When do we want it?
Now!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
o'bogamol
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper


Joined: 01 Nov 2009
Posts: 90
Location: Detroit, Michigan - The Home of Rock and Roll

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 4:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My experience with GentooLinux in a nutshell
_________________
What do we want?
Free Stuff!
When do we want it?
Now!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Frustie
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper


Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Posts: 101
Location: My own little planet.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

o'bogamol wrote:
My experience with GentooLinux in a nutshell

+++ :)
I've so been there :)
_________________
A scarf tied to a post is quickly shredded by the wind but, a loose leaf in the wind can survive a typhoon.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Old School
Apprentice
Apprentice


Joined: 20 Nov 2004
Posts: 240
Location: West Bank of the Coast Fork

PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

o'bogamol wrote:
My experience with GentooLinux in a nutshell

Damn! I can really relate to that one!
_________________
The further a society drifts from truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.
George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
patrix_neo
Guru
Guru


Joined: 08 Jan 2004
Posts: 428
Location: The Maldives

PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gascoigne said - Please smile, I cannot see you.

The person attended was a negro. (latin for black)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
pjp
Administrator
Administrator


Joined: 16 Apr 2002
Posts: 16713

PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And on that bit of racism, thread continues in Thread of Jokes volume III.
_________________
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring. -- Perry Cox
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Gentoo Forums Forum Index Off the Wall All times are GMT
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 28, 29, 30
Page 30 of 30

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum