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desultory
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bones McCracker wrote:
You say that age and quality are subjective. How do you feel about that?
I have not considered it deeply, though it evidently makes you feel Jung again.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I leave this here https://youtu.be/Uzqc9w8ScLA
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cokey
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do America's 300,000 battered women have in common?

They just wouldn't fucking listen.
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Muso
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mc'abit wrote:
What do America's 300,000 battered women have in common?

They just wouldn't fucking listen.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
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notageek
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some culture: https://youtu.be/0zOprG-K48I
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Muso
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My doctor says I should avoid trans fats. I'm going to miss Tumblr.
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Muso
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Abby,
I've been married to my husband since college, but he is a liar and a cheat. He cheated on me from the beginning and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since ge lost his job 15 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I'm a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed, Clueless.


Dear Clueless:
For crying out loud, grow up and dump him. Good grief woman, think about it. You're running for President of the United States. You don't need him anymore.
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Navar
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best joke ever.

Let's spend more for, "a roadmap to a future that embodies America’s values and aspirations." Represented visually by an unassailable mountain range... that we can try to climb before asphyxiating :lol:
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Muso
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Navar wrote:
Best joke ever.

Let's spend more for, "a roadmap to a future that embodies America’s values and aspirations." Represented visually by an unassailable mountain range... that we can try to climb before asphyxiating :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

I think he's allergic to arithmetic, economic reality. and reason.
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cokey
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 3:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q. How do you make a cat go "woof!"

A. Pour petrol on it and light it
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Muso
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2016 4:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mc'abit wrote:
Q. How do you make a cat go "woof!"

A. Pour petrol on it and light it


:lol:

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2016 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mc'abit wrote:
Q. How do you make a cat go "woof!"

A. Pour petrol on it and light it

That's funny.
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The human thought: I cannot win.
The ratbrain in me : I can only go forward and that's it.
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o'bogamol
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
Mc'abit wrote:
Q. How do you make a cat go "woof!"

A. Pour petrol on it and light it


:lol:

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black.


Bail bondsman friend of mine thought it was funny. Police Sgt in primarily white community didn't find it as funny. :)
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Old School
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 3:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's hilarious. Great humor is based in truth.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."

From here
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o'bogamol
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 11:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can tell a woman she's beautiful a thousand times, but tell her she's fat once and she will never let it go...




...because an elephant never forgets.
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cokey
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q. Who are the fastest readers?

A. 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 3:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving They are about to
just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath....

"Pepe... Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees.....


Ees....

Ees...



Ees...

Ees...


Ees...


Ees.... a ham bush..."
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Bloodsurfer
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of the best jokes I ever read in here :lol:
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SiberianSniper: or <name>.ko, so she's ready for insertion?
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cokey
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I nearly lost my job on my first day as a roofer when I was caught masturbating.

Luckily I was told I could wipe the slate clean
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cokey
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never dated a clam... but I've pulled a few muscles
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Muso
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's black and doesn't work?




Decaffeinated coffee, you racist prick.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
What's black and doesn't work?




Decaffeinated coffee, you racist prick.
I've never understood why someone would want to drink decaffeinated coffee. Why?
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Muso
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

McGeekanot wrote:
I've never understood why someone would want to drink decaffeinated coffee. Why?


It's like non-alcoholic beer.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
McGeekanot wrote:
I've never understood why someone would want to drink decaffeinated coffee. Why?


It's like non-alcoholic beer.
What's your point?
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