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Joined: 25 Nov 2002
Posts: 211
Location: PaRiS :D

PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 8:55 pm    Post subject: Lovestory Reply with quote

A romantic lovestory...

    Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user.  His
broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous
input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

    One evening he arrived home just as the sun was crashing, and
had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the
5100 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of
liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to
himself, "She looks user-friendly.  I'll see if she'd like an
update tonight."

    Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with
eyes like COBOL (**** Miranda ***) and a PR1ME mainframe architecture
that set Micro's peripherals networking all over the place.

    He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her
twin, 32-bit floating point processors and enquired "How are you,
Honeywell?"  "Yes, I am well", she responded, batting her optical
fibers engagingly and smoothing her console over her curvilinear

    Micro settled for a straight line approximation.  "I'm
stand-alone tonight," he said, "How about computing a vector to my
base address?  I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get
offset later on."

    Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then
transmitted 8k, "I've been dumped myself recently, and a new page
is just what I need to refresh my disks.  I'll park my machine
cycle in your background and meet you inside."  She walked off,
leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking, "Wow, what a
global variable, I wonder if she'd like my firmware?"

    They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of
fiche and chips and a bucket of baudot.  Mini was in conversational
mode and expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave
occasional acknowledgments although, in reality, he was analyzing
the shortest and least critical path to her entry point.  He
finally settled on the old would_you_like_to_see_my_benchmark
routine, but Mini was again one step ahead.

    Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal
the full functionality of her operating system software.  "Let's
get BASIC, you RAM," she said.  Micro was loaded by this stage, but
his hardware policing module had a processor of it's own and was in
danger of overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had
consulted his analyst about.  "Core," was all he could say, as she
prepared to log him off.

    Micro soon recovered, however, when Mini went down on the DEC
and opened her divide files to reveal her data set ready.  He
accessed his fully packed root device and was just about to start
pushing into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.

    "No, No!" she cried, "You're not shielded."

    "Reset, baby", he replied, "I've been debugged."

    "But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support
child processes," she protested.

    "Don't run away", he said, "I'll generate an interrupt."

    "No that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my
design philosophy."

    Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be
turned off.  But Mini soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a
voltage spike into his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a
head crash and went to sleep.

    "Computers!" she thought as she compiled herself, "All they ever
think of is hex."

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Ralphus Maximus
Tux's lil' helper
Tux's lil' helper

Joined: 22 Jul 2002
Posts: 148
Location: At Large

PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 9:05 pm    Post subject: Same sort of story.... Reply with quote

I found this when I was working for IBM many years ago...

The Dosfish

Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the writing of
words was on a Star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the Pea Sea.  But he
needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would need for support but few

So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both Micro and Soft, fashioned a Dosfish,
who was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen bit channel.  But the
Dosfish was not bright, and could be taught few tricks.  His alphabet had no
A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and the size of his file cabinet was
limited by his own fat.

At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who could swim
the Pea Sea.  But the people soon grew tired of commanding his line, and
complained that he could neither be dragged or dropped.  "Forsooth," they cried,
"the Dosfish can only do one job at a time, and of names he knows only eight and
three."  And many of them left the Pea Sea for good, and went off in search of
the Magic Apple.

Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea was
cheap.  So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested awhile in the
Parc of the Xer Ox, and he made a Window that could ride on the Dosfish and do
its thinking for it.  But the Window was slow, and it would break when the
Dosfish got confused.  So most people contented themselves with the Dosfish.

Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and spoke
thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the Dosfish."  The
Blue Giant seemed like a humbug, so they called the new creature Oz II.

Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are.  It could drag and
drop, and could keep files without becoming fat.  But the people cared for it
not.  So the Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised another Oz II, to be called
Oz II Too, that could swim fast in the new, 23 bit wide Pea Sea.

Then lo, a strange miracle occurred.  Although the Window that rode on the
Dosfish was slow, it was pretty and the third Window was prettiest of all.  And
the people began to like the third, and began to use it.  So the Gateskeeper
turned to the Blue Giant and said "Fie on thee, for I need thee not.  Keep thy
Oz II Too, and I shall make of my Window an Entity that will not need the
Dosfish, and will swim in the 32 bit Pea Sea."

Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant were many
times overrun by insects.  And the people went on using their Dosfish with a
Window; even though the Dosfish would from time to time become confused and die,
it could always be revived with three fingers.

Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto the
world.  The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a great ram,
and the world was changed not a whit.  For the people said, "It is indeed great,
but we see little application for it."  And they were doubtful, because the BLUE
Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and together they were fashioning a
Taligent, and the Taligent was made of objects, and was most pink.

Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious before he
grew, he was now more ambitious still.  So he protected his Window Entity with
great security, and made its net work both in serving and with peers.  And the
Entity would swim, not only in the Pea Sea, but in the Oceans of Great Risk.
"Yea," the Gateskeeper declared, "though my Entity will require a greater ram
than Oz II Too, it will be more powerful than a world of Eunuches.

And so the Gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in all but
two cities.  For he promised that a greater Window, a greater Entity, and even a
greater Dosfish would appear one day in Chicago and Cairo, and it too would be
built on objects.

Now the Eunuches who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned the Pea
Sea, began to look upon their world with fear.  For the Pea Sea had grown and
great ships were sailing in it, the Entity was about to invade their Oceans, and
it was rumored that files would be named in letters greater than eight.  And the
Eunuches looked upon the Pea Sea, and many of them thought to immigrate.

Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they wanted to
excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as easy as one-two-three.
 And what's more, many of them no longer wanted to pay for the Risk.  So the Sun
Lord went to the Pea Sea, and got himself eighty-sixed.

And taking the next step was He of Next Step, who had given up building his
boxes of black.  And he proclaimed loudly that he could help anyone make
wondrous soft wares, then admitted meekly that only those who know him could use
those wares, and he was made of objects and required the greatest ram of all.

And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed.  And sore
confused.  And sore sore.  And that is why, to this day, Ozes, Entities, and
Eunuches battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the people still travel with
the simple Dosfish.

author unkown

Hero for hire. Dragons rescued, Virgins slain.

You say "Cheesy" like it's a bad thing!

In a society that is drug infested, violence-wracked and polluted by chemical greed, no one has ever died from an overdose of pornography.
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