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wswartzendruber
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:05 am    Post subject: James Mattis the New Commandant of the USMC Reply with quote

I had no idea this happened, but General Mattis has just become the Commandant of the Marine Corps. Here are some quotes from him:

Mattis to Iraqi Tribal Leaders wrote:
I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all.

Mattis to a San Diego Panel wrote:
You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them. Actually it's quite fun to fight them, you know. It's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up there with you. I like brawling.

This guy's nickname is "Mad Dog Mattis" for a reason.
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pjp
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mad
[mad] adjective, mad·der, mad·dest, noun, verb, mad·ded, mad·ding.
adjective

1. mentally disturbed; deranged; insane; demented.
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wswartzendruber
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DAMNIT! It was a satire site. :evil:
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol:
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wswartzendruber
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Holy shit, this website is hilarious!

http://www.duffelblog.com/
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notageek
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This: http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/12/study-dramatic-increase-in-fitness-test-scores-when-participants-are-crying/
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wswartzendruber wrote:
Holy shit, this website is hilarious!

http://www.duffelblog.com/

This is funny, but I don't think most civilians will get much of it. I like the article about Majors being worse than 2nd Lieutenants. :lol:
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
wswartzendruber wrote:
Holy shit, this website is hilarious!

http://www.duffelblog.com/

This is funny, but I don't think most civilians will get much of it. I like the article about Majors being worse than 2nd Lieutenants. :lol:


sounds believable.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can remember thinking that, when I was a Captain and a Company Commander. What line troops don't realize is that, after Company command, Captains go off and spend about the next eight years going to schools and doing various staff jobs, before they get back down to the level they are working with troops. So senior Majors like the ones troops see are rusty on basic leadership, and common sense has been displaced by all kinds of theory and bureaucratic nonsense. Also, by that time they have invested enough years they've got something to lose by being a loose cannon. They're within a few years of having earned a retirement, but they're also trying to stand out against the crowd so they can get a Battalion Command (or in the Navy, a Ship or Boat). That makes for stupidity. :lol:

I can remember, when I was a Tank Platoon Leader, the new Battalion Executive Officer (a Major) came down to the motor pool. In our organization, the XO is responsible for maintenance, among other things. He's walking around "inspecting" the tanks. He comes over to mine, and he kicks the road wheel, like he's kicking a tire on a car. It would take about 500 pounds of force to move the roadwheel on a tank. The troops were aghast. :lol:
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pjp
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wswartzendruber wrote:
Holy shit, this website is hilarious!

http://www.duffelblog.com/

I always get a kick out of Things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army.

Quote:
Explanations of these events:
a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
[followed by b) - e)]


2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”.

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)

36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.

38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.

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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

:lol:

When I was a 2LT, I actually got chewed out by a senior officer who heard me calling cadence for my platoon: "C-130 rollin' down the strip... a big fat lady with inverted-nipple tits..." (that's as far as I got). I was in PT gear, so he probably assumed I was some E4. If he'd known I was an officer I probably would have been sent to mandatory sensitivity training or something.
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pjp
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what did he do?
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
112. When saluting a “leg” officer, an appropriate greeting is not “Airborne leads the wa- oh…sorry sir”.
Quote:
170. Not allowed to “defect” to OPFOR during training missions.

:lol:
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

pjp wrote:
So what did he do?

He told me that obscene or distasteful cadences are "no longer authorized" because they may be offensive to females, and that I should have better sense to do that while running right down the main avenue of post.
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pjp
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah. I didn't realize the Army had gone Kinder and Gentler back then.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pjp wrote:
Ah. I didn't realize the Army had gone Kinder and Gentler back then.

They were starting to. That was 1988 in a forward-deployed base where family members were not permitted. They were also "discouraging" smoking at the time. Back in the States a couple years later they were "discouraging" excessive alcohol consumption at official gatherings (such as Regimental Mess, i.e., "Dinings In", unit parties, etc.). In 1991 we had a female (Intelligence Officer) in our Mechanized Infantry Brigade. I think it was 1993 when, as Company Commander, I had to support "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", which caused my crusty old First Sergeant to threaten to retire. And, it's been all downhill since "Shock and Awe".
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energyman76b
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
pjp wrote:
Ah. I didn't realize the Army had gone Kinder and Gentler back then.

They were starting to. That was 1988 in a forward-deployed base where family members were not permitted. They were also "discouraging" smoking at the time. Back in the States a couple years later they were "discouraging" excessive alcohol consumption at official gatherings (such as Regimental Mess, i.e., "Dinings In", unit parties, etc.). In 1991 we had a female (Intelligence Officer) in our Mechanized Infantry Brigade. I think it was 1993 when, as Company Commander, I had to support "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", which caused my crusty old First Sergeant to threaten to retire. And, it's been all downhill since "Shock and Awe".


short version: you joined and everything went downhill from that point.

Should give you food for thought.
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AidanJT wrote:

Libertardian denial of reality is wholly unimpressive and unconvincing, and simply serves to demonstrate what a bunch of delusional fools they all are.

Satan's got perfectly toned abs and rocks a c-cup.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

energyman76b wrote:
BoneKracker wrote:
pjp wrote:
Ah. I didn't realize the Army had gone Kinder and Gentler back then.

They were starting to. That was 1988 in a forward-deployed base where family members were not permitted. They were also "discouraging" smoking at the time. Back in the States a couple years later they were "discouraging" excessive alcohol consumption at official gatherings (such as Regimental Mess, i.e., "Dinings In", unit parties, etc.). In 1991 we had a female (Intelligence Officer) in our Mechanized Infantry Brigade. I think it was 1993 when, as Company Commander, I had to support "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", which caused my crusty old First Sergeant to threaten to retire. And, it's been all downhill since "Shock and Awe".


short version: you joined and everything went downhill from that point.

Should give you food for thought.

:lol:

Actually, I think our military was doing great until about the time Obama got elected.
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pjp
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I knew of some Old 'n Crusty types who retired when (or not too long after) Clinton was elected.
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