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Mardok45
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:14 pm    Post subject: Arizona Jumping Spiders: Good luck sleeping tonight Reply with quote

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/21704092

These things would be cute if they weren't so goddamned scary.
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BonezTheGoon
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you think those little cuties are scary don't ever look up the Florida Banana Spiders.
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Mardok45
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, how much worse could it possiblAAAAAAAAAAGH MY GOD!
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sikpuppy
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Jumping spiders range in size from a body length of 1 to 22 mm.

For this we need a gun that shoots a single ball of shot. And fear of very small arachnids.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol:

Hey, we're not supposed to be getting new species; they're all supposed be dying out from Global Warming until it's nothing left but us and billions of hectares of aspargras and shitake mushrooms.
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Last edited by Bones McCracker on Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:38 am; edited 1 time in total
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pjp
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They look a lot like jumping spiders from other parts of the country. I've never seen one inside.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It would suck if they were about 50 pounds, two feet across, were proportionately fast and agile, and hunted in groups of five to ten.

Isn't it about time for a remake of The Incredible Shrinking Man?
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notageek
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 4:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After looking at the OP, I immediately thought why hasn't anyone made stuffed toys based on them. Giant ones, if it helps.
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Muso
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 4:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As this thread seems to be about scary things.... for your enjoyment, some cock sauce.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh cock!
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big dave
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

the government should ban all spiders from jumping.

while they're at it, they need to move the deer crossing sign, because those deer are really fucking annoying when they cross at that intersection.

this message brought to you by stupid authoritarians rebranding themselves as progressives.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah? Move to a country without a government.

Where's that guy from Brussels?

What, what? Which country did you think I meant?
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

big dave wrote:
the government should ban all spiders


ftfy.

Banning things you don't like, and making everything else mandatory, is what makes government (and its brainwashed supporters) happy.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

big dave wrote:
the government should ban all spiders from jumping.

while they're at it, they need to move the deer crossing sign, because those deer are really fucking annoying when they cross at that intersection.

this message brought to you by stupid authoritarians rebranding themselves as progressives.

I remember that. The woan who thought the sign was to tell the deer where to cross, and wanted it moved to safer location? Obvious Democrat. :lol:
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, those look funny enough.
I find solifuges creepy.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BonezTheGoon wrote:
If you think those little cuties are scary don't ever look up the Florida Banana Spiders.


they don't look that bad.

Just out this bad boy cape made from the silk of some spiders.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Spider_silk_cape.jpg
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BonezTheGoon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

juniper wrote:
BonezTheGoon wrote:
If you think those little cuties are scary don't ever look up the Florida Banana Spiders.


they don't look that bad.

Just out this bad boy cape made from the silk of some spiders.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Spider_silk_cape.jpg


When you realize that they catch sparrows and slightly larger birds in their webs along highways you might change your tune. Very creepy to get tangled in a web that can catch small to medium sized birds.
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Mardok45
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since the government is taking away our firearms, they should at least legalize flame throwers so the American citizens can properly defend themselves from threats like spiders.

All spiders should die by fire.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clad in Sky wrote:
Well, those look funny enough.
I find solifuges creepy.

I find clowns creepier.
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dmitchell
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mardok45 wrote:
Since the government is taking away our firearms, they should at least legalize flame throwers so the American citizens can properly defend themselves from threats like spiders.

What about a flame thrower that throws spiders? Or even flaming spiders?
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmitchell wrote:
Mardok45 wrote:
Since the government is taking away our firearms, they should at least legalize flame throwers so the American citizens can properly defend themselves from threats like spiders.

What about a flame thrower that throws spiders? Or even flaming spiders?

What about flaming Ron Paul Supporter spiders armed with tiny assault rifles?
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
What about flaming Ron Paul Supporter spiders armed with tiny assault rifles?

Would they be three toothed redneck spiders? Somebody call the Southern Poverty Law Center!
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmitchell wrote:
BoneKracker wrote:
What about flaming Ron Paul Supporter spiders armed with tiny assault rifles?

Would they be three toothed redneck spiders? Somebody call the Southern Poverty Law Center!


:lol:
You are a bad, bad man. :wink:
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

redneck spider :lol:

Credit: http://zlayerone.deviantart.com/
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BonezTheGoon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love the dual-cigs
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