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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:23 am    Post subject: French Martial Arts Reply with quote

The ancient French martial art known as Canne de Combat (which translates to "smacking each other with twigs, no poking allowed"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMdZjyU7i54
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pjp
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First thing that came to mind after reading your title was "probably involves smacking."
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In all fairness, one must note that the French have not always been pussies. During Medieval times, they had well-developed martial arts with sword, pole-arm, and kick-boxing rooted in even earlier mastery of stick-fighting and kick-boxing, possibly dating back to tribal times.

Their martial arts were documented during the late Middle Ages, but alas, they became lost arts in The Pussifications (following World War I and World War II). However, French military, foreign service personnel, and merchants learned different martial arts from the sub-humans they were blessing with Civilization and Enlightenment in Southeast Asia. These try tried to call their own by applying the old written rules and documentation from the lost French martial arts. What you see here is one of those results.

The real, original Canne de Combat probably much more closely resembled Rapier technique. The staff twirling you see toward the end of the video clip is much more characteristic of East Asian or Indo-Chinese martial arts, where staffs were small and made of light wood. Staff fighting in Europe probably evolved from swinging clubs, and later war axes and pole-arms. These are heavy weapons, and the technique used in the sporting version of the art would reflect that. One can easily see the pole-type weapons used in Europe (e.g., the Guissarme, Glaive, or the Bec de Corbain) have always been heavy, and one-ended. This twirling and two-ended use of a staff is not European.

They did, however, know how to use the weapons they had. Contrary to what most historians today say, I do not believe it was the cross-bow that put an end to the use of mounted, armored knights. I believe it was the use of pole weapons with sturdy steel hooks, used for dismounting armored knights.

At any rate, it's rather pathetic to see them doing this pussy-spanking now (and being nationalistic about it), after having once been mighty warriors.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guy 1: OMG OMG he's got a cane. Must jump!
Guy 2: OMG OMG he's got a cane. Must jump!
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
In all fairness, one must note that the French have not always been pussies.
So what went wrong?
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

notageek wrote:
BoneKracker wrote:
In all fairness, one must note that the French have not always been pussies.
So what went wrong?

Gave a statue to America.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

notageek wrote:
Guy 1: OMG OMG he's got a cane. Must jump!
Guy 2: OMG OMG he's got a cane. Must jump!


Just watched the first minute or so - and it seems to be a lot of
posturing and not much action.

Also the cane - that's about the size that we used to use to discipline
wayward children, back in the good old days.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

notageek wrote:
BoneKracker wrote:
In all fairness, one must note that the French have not always been pussies.
So what went wrong?

As I said, they became lost arts, during The Pussification.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
At any rate, it's rather pathetic to see them doing this pussy-spanking now.

Hrmmm... 6 ft 8 in, 290 lb... hrmmm... I hope for you that, before posting, you made sure Teddy Bear is not a member of these forums...
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I studied Judo for a little while. I accidentally knocked the wind out of my instructor. Judo is for pussies, like smacking each other with twigs.
:P
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, so when it comes to self-defense, a Frenchman would just employ someone to do it for him.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

notageek wrote:
Right, so when it comes to self-defense, a Frenchman would just employ some to do it for him.

8O
++
Hey... everybody can grow-up ! And I've been seriously impressed by the progresses made by several contributors here in the last 2 years !

Congrats notageek ! The first post from you that made me laugh !

Apart from the interesting paradox you mention, your comment is even not far from being true.
For being a competitor in one sport, I would with no doubt be sacked by my federation (In addition with misc other annoyances) if I used my skills (and hardware) in order to... auto-self-defend-myself :wink: ...

In France nowadays, you no longer subcontract the things you are not capable of, you subcontract the things you do not want to be legally held responsible for ! :roll: :roll: :roll:
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When those other gallic chiefs betrayed Vercingetorix, it all wen't downhill from there... as documented in Asterix.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aCOSwt wrote:
notageek wrote:
Right, so when it comes to self-defense, a Frenchman would just employ some to do it for him.

8O
++
Hey... everybody can grow-up ! And I've been seriously impressed by the progresses made by several contributors here in the last 2 years !

Congrats notageek ! The first post from you that made me laugh !

Apart from the interesting paradox you mention, your comment is even not far from being true.
For being a competitor in one sport, I would with no doubt be sacked by my federation (In addition with misc other annoyances) if I used my skills (and hardware) in order to... auto-self-defend-myself :wink: ...

In France nowadays, you no longer subcontract the things you are not capable of, you subcontract the things you do not want to be legally held responsible for ! :roll: :roll: :roll:
And congratulations to you too. One of your sentences in this post made sense.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aCOSwt wrote:
notageek wrote:
Right, so when it comes to self-defense, a Frenchman would just employ some to do it for him.

8O
++
Hey... everybody can grow-up ! And I've been seriously impressed by the progresses made by several contributors here in the last 2 years !

Congrats notageek ! The first post from you that made me laugh !


Actually, I think you're just slowly starting to understand English better. notageek's often been quite funny and the people posting here have always posted in a similar manner.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

what disturbs me is that the french celebrate WW2 every year, but the versailles treaty is definitely a cause for WW2 and they didn't do very much (to say it very very politely :lol: )

@aCOSwt:
you obviously have to fight here alone against all other like me in the vegetarian-threads :)
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aCOSwt wrote:
BoneKracker wrote:
At any rate, it's rather pathetic to see them doing this pussy-spanking now.

Hrmmm... 6 ft 8 in, 290 lb... hrmmm... I hope for you that, before posting, you made sure Teddy Bear is not a member of these forums...


Teddy Bear ?
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Prenj wrote:
When those other gallic chiefs betrayed Vercingetorix, it all wen't downhill from there... as documented in Asterix.

:lol:
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LoTeK wrote:
what disturbs me is that the french celebrate WW2 every year, but the versailles treaty is definitely a cause for WW2 and they didn't do very much (to say it very very politely :lol: )

@aCOSwt:
you obviously have to fight here alone against all other like me in the vegetarian-threads :)

We love the French. We just give them a hard time so they won't give up after only a week in the next big war.
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol: :lol:
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
We love the French. We just give them a hard time so they won't give up after only a week in the next big war.

I like coagulated milk products, I like the idea of wars being won with minimum bloodshed and I do like to visit the primate enclosure at the zoo. The French are cheese eating surrender monkeys. What's not to like?
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you know, there won't be another big war, because we humans are enlightened now. We have democracy, human rights and we are a very advanced if not perfect species in every way... so we don't have to prepare them for war...
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LoTeK wrote:
you know, there won't be another big war, because we humans are enlightened now. We have democracy, human rights and we are a very advanced if not perfect species in every way... so we don't have to prepare them for war...



Code:

10 MAKE WAR
20 PRINT "THIS WAS THE LAST WAR; WE KNOW BETTER NOW, RIGHT?"
30 GOTO 10


That's why GOTO statements suck.
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sikpuppy
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GOSUB is better, that way you can go to a "war" subroutine and RETURN to peace afterwards. That's if someone doesn't BREAK the entire thing with a bunch of nukes.

Do you want to play a game?
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sikpuppy wrote:
Do you want to play a game?


Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War?
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