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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 12:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A journalist in Jerusalem heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."

"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."

"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."

"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."

And finally "I pray that everyone will be happy".

The journalist asks, "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

The old man considers the question for a moment, and replies, "Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."
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pjp
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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol:
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lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.

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Muso
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Joined: 22 Oct 2002
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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

pjp wrote:
:lol:


++

that's a gem.
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“If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.” ~ T. McKenna
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BonezTheGoon
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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice!
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mcgruff wrote:
I can't promise to be civil.


pjp wrote:
The greater evil is voting for the "lesser evil."
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energyman76b
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Joined: 26 Mar 2003
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PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 9:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't get it. I am praying to a bunch of gods every day and all the things I asked for so far have been fulfilled.
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AidanJT wrote:

Libertardian denial of reality is wholly unimpressive and unconvincing, and simply serves to demonstrate what a bunch of delusional fools they all are.

Satan's got perfectly toned abs and rocks a c-cup.
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pjp
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PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

energyman76b wrote:
I don't get it. I am praying to a bunch of gods every day and all the things I asked for so far have been fulfilled.
Which naturally proves the gods exist. :lol:
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lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.

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mrbassie
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Joined: 31 May 2013
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PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Paddy walks into a department store and asks the guy at the counter "Excuse me, do you have any potato clocks?"

The guy behind the counter says "What?"

Paddy repeats "Do you have any potato clocks?"

The guy behind the counter says "Are you having a laugh?"

Paddy says "No."

The guy behind the counter says "We've got carriage clocks, cuckoo clocks, Grandfather clocks and alarm clocks; what's a potato clock?"

And Paddy says "Well I'm not sure myself but I'm starting a new job at nine o'clock tomorrow and my wife says I've got to get a potato clock."




(I'm Irish, I'm allowed to tell Irish Jokes).
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Muso
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Joined: 22 Oct 2002
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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 7:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Need a bass player?
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“If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.” ~ T. McKenna
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notageek
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Joined: 05 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muso wrote:
Need a bass player?
:lol:
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pjp
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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 3:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Before I read it, I thought of the South Park episode.
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lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.

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Muso
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Joined: 22 Oct 2002
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.

When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.

When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.

The cop says, "How is this possible?"

The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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“If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.” ~ T. McKenna
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pjp
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol:

Is it illegal everywhere to do that, or only just in some states?
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lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.

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Muso
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
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“If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.” ~ T. McKenna
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pjp
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.

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