What are you going to do in the afterlife?

allucid · Veteran Joined: 02 Nov 2002 Posts: 1314 Location: atlanta

So, here's a fun little game. Let's pretend that the Christians are right (partially, at least) and that when you die your soul lives on for eternity somewhere else, be it heaven or hell. You can go by Dante's descriptions, Christian descriptions of the afterlife, or make up your own. What the hell are you going to do to keep busy for eternity? Are science, math, etc. necessary? Is hell overcrowded? Are there enough chairs in heaven? Are we allowed to have sex? Do you have a body or are you an amorphous blob of soul? etc.

This discussion is primarily for fun. I'm not asking if you believe in the afterlife, just asking you to imagine what it might be like. You do not have to go by the Christian views (specifically, the notion if you are not Christian then you go to hell). You can pick whichever you like or you think you deserve.

atrus123 · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:55 am Post subject:

My hope is that in the afterlife, I'll be able to explore the stars.

And yes, I do believe in an afterlife; I also believe that animals have souls, and so I look forward to seeing my passed-on dogs once again; damn I miss those dogs. If you're one of these lunatic Fundamentalists or Evangelicals who don't believe that animals have souls, apparently you've never really read the Bible. But that's another topic.

J.
_________________
"I cannot support a movement that exploded spending and borrowing and blames its successor for the debt."
-Andrew Sullivan

playfool · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 5:05 am Post subject:

Hopefully having sex with my girlfriend, seeing as she's 20 years older than me I guess she'll have to wait for me a bit though.

Lord Bob · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 5:59 am Post subject:

monkeyhead · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:04 am Post subject:

If we're assuming that christianity is correct, I'll, aparently, be burning in agony and misery for the rest of eternity.

John-Boy · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:04 am Post subject:

Second the bit about exploring the Universe - however if it's a classical Christian afterlife, then it's going to be a pitchfork
jobbie I'm afraid, I have to have done something to have deserved that. Going from the fundamentalist Christian view, most
people have.
_________________
When you break rules, break 'em good and hard

The Earth · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:16 am Post subject:

Merge with the Infinite.
_________________
Libertarianism : The radical notion that other people are not your property.

coriolan · Apprentice Joined: 21 Apr 2005 Posts: 273

Q-collective · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:45 am Post subject:

I think I'll go for level 2
_________________
Member of the Dutch section of the Committee for a Workers International

playfool · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:13 am Post subject:

ratbert90 · Apprentice Joined: 28 May 2003 Posts: 177

PRC · Apprentice Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 191

Funny Essay:

HOT OR COLD?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term examination. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

3. If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year, that ..."it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having
sexual relations with her, then No. 2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
_________________
Mayhem G4 (Asus z71v)

Q-collective · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:27 am Post subject:

allucid · Veteran Joined: 02 Nov 2002 Posts: 1314 Location: atlanta

slackthumbz · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:09 pm Post subject:

I believe in re-incarnation so I guess my afterlife would be very similar to my current one.

ChristyMcJesus · Apprentice Joined: 02 Oct 2004 Posts: 184

Naib · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:31 pm Post subject:

HEll might be overcrowded, but it has all the best ppl.
I can imagine Heaven being quite boring
_________________

coriolan · Apprentice Joined: 21 Apr 2005 Posts: 273

coriolan · Apprentice Joined: 21 Apr 2005 Posts: 273

Q-collective · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:47 pm Post subject:

Don't doublepost
_________________
Member of the Dutch section of the Committee for a Workers International

coriolan · Apprentice Joined: 21 Apr 2005 Posts: 273

Sorrrrry! \me messing up with some wierd way with my butter fingers.

ChojinDSL · l33t Joined: 07 Jul 2003 Posts: 783

Maybe the afterlife would be whatever you imagine it to be. As in, you would be the architect of your afterlife, perhaps uknowingly though.

e.g. if you have a guilty conscience and you expect to rot in hell and be tortured 24/7, then you will rot in that hell and be tortured 24/7.
If you have a clear conscience and expect a boring and sterile heaven, than thats what it will be.

My personal heaven in no particular order:

1. I can have the kinkiest sex with the hottest women I can imagine whenever I feel like it.
2. I can watch any payTV channel in the universe for free.
3. All my best friends are instantly there whenever I feel like it.
4. Lots of BBQs.
5. Nice garden with a swimming pool. Outdoor temp and pool temp is always perfect. The perfect beach is only two steps around the corner though.
6. The ultimate PC with only the best linux-certified hardware. It contains a special AI chip which detects when I dont feel like fiddling with gentoo and configures everything for me to run fast and stable. Oh yeah and emerges are instantaneous.
7. I have a 0ms lag connection the the internet. I can download faster than my limitless harddrive can write.
8. Peer2Peer downloads finish instantaenously.
9. My fridge never runs out of my favourite beer(s).
10. All my favourite Burger/Pizza/Chinese/etc/takeaways are located in my basement.
11. Every once in a while I get to haunt someone who I hate and is still alive.
12. Any computer game that I would like is delivered to my doorstep before I am even aware that it exists.
13. My TV screen is a scalable application window. I can make it as big as I want it to be.
14. I finally get access to that exclusive IRC chatroom where all the different alien races of the galaxy hangout. (Who would have thought, they speak english! How convenient.)
15. I finally get access to the also very exclusive celebrity porn website, where all my favourite female stars and celebrities get down and dirty.

The Ennead · Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:31 am Post subject:

Personally i'm going to shoot that twat Bush. Heaven or Hell, he'll be dead already so it's not like they could do me for murder :wink:

Other than that, i'll sit on a cloud, play music, paint, talk, drink tea, and smoke Drina whilst watching the world go by.

Kai Hvatum · Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:41 am Post subject:

I'm going to be a malignant spirit and cause havoc and otherwise scare the hell out of people. Make the walls bleed - Skeletons chase after people - things like that.
_________________
Still using Gentoo, just too busy for forums these days.

codergeek42 · Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:04 am Post subject:

I'm going to fart. :oops:

_________________
~~ Peter: GNU/Linux geek, caffeine addict, and Free Software advocate.
Who am I? :: EFF & FSF