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notageek
Tux's lil' helper
Joined: 05 Jun 2008
Posts: 81
Location: Bangalore, India
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Muso
l33t
Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 655
Location: The Holy city of Honolulu
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 Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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Shit-Caked, Urine-Soaked Man Determined To Enjoy Carnival Cruise
| Quote: | Following an onboard fire that has left more than 4,000 Carnival cruise ship passengers and crew without electricity, water, and operational bathroom facilities, feces-covered, urine-stained traveler Jason Spaulding told reporters Wednesday that he is determined to enjoy the remainder of his high seas vacation. “Look, I’ve been looking forward to this cruise for months, and I’m not about to let a little utilities hiccup ruin my good time,” said a waste-drenched Spaulding, who in the past three days has been forced to urinate and defecate off the side of an immobile Carnival cruise liner whose backed-up restrooms sources confirmed are leaking raw sewage throughout the vessel’s living quarters and main deck.
“The fact is, the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, and I’m out here in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico on a boat. Uncontrollable torrents of human excrement or no, I’m going to make the best of it.” At press time, the optimistic Carnival passenger had decided to “cool off” by taking a dip in the cruise ship’s lukewarm, feces-clouded pool. |
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If I had a dollar for every time capitalism was blamed for the problems caused by government, I'd be a fat filmmaker with a baseball cap |
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John-Boy
Guru
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 439
Location: Desperately seeking Moksha in all the wrong places
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Uncontrollable torrents of human excrement or no, I’m going to make the best of it. |
It's a maxim for life really.
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When you break rules, break 'em good and hard |
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pjp
Administrator
Joined: 16 Apr 2002
Posts: 16033
Location: Colorado
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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There's no ajenda.
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lolgov. 'cause where we're going, you don't have civil liberties.
In Loving Memory
1787 - 2008 |
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big dave
n00b
Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 0
Location: land of first world problems
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:12 am Post subject: |
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| clearly need to ban urine. then this problem wouldn't exist. |
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Spent
n00b
Joined: 30 May 2004
Posts: 51
Location: Bawlmer Hon!
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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A lawsuit has already been filed.
It claims, suffered physical and emotional harm during the cruise, including anxiety, nervousness and the loss of the enjoyment of life. |
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wildhorse
Tux's lil' helper
Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 148
Location: Estados Unidos De América
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| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 12:14 am Post subject: |
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| You might think it can't get worse when you are faeces-covered and urine-stained staying on a ship, until they force you to spend your well earned vacation in the USA. To add insult to suffering, the tourists had to get off board in Alabama! I really feel bad for these poor people. I hope they get at least some emergency rations from their ship instead of the dog food which the locals eat. |
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