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notageek
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:54 am    Post subject: Why are people so mean to single people? Reply with quote

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20219349

Quote:
In a world that celebrates romance and finding The One, people can be rather rude to single people, writes James Friel.

No-one is supposed to be single.
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Bones McCracker
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Didn't read the article, but I have my own thoughts on this.

If you're single after 30 or so, people who are married like to think there's something wrong with you: they assume that members of the opposite sex who got to know you well have all rejected you as somehow defective, that you're a homosexual, that you're so engrossed in your work as to be uninteresting and probably "eccentric", or that you're some kind a lecherous hedonistic profligate who refuses to have normal, healthy relationships.

Some of this is reasonable speculation (these are, after all, reasons why some people are single). However, a lot of this is rationalization of regret about the consequences of marriage in their own lives, particularly once children are born. For example, while there is some middle ground in the late 20s and early 30s while most couples still have lots of single friends, eventually single people don't get invited to couples' parties. Parties used to be about having fun and hooking up; but that's the last thing a bunch of out-of-shape married people want to see: a bunch of other people who still give a shit how they look having fun they can't, and possibly attracting their spouses.

The activities of couples become increasingly family oriented. Even when the activity is driven by the children (like school-related stuff, sporting events, lessons, etc.), parents talk about nothing but their children. This is because raising children has taken over their lives. People without children cannot empathize and aren't going to sit there and pretend to be impressed by little Jacob's accomplishments just so you will return the favor, because you can't. You might find common ground on work-related stuff, but talking about work is likely to frowned upon by any non-working spouses who are present, as being rude and un-parent-like. Maybe you can get away with talking about home remodeling, which is a sufficiently nest-building behavior.

Then, usually in their 40s, most men have had enough of this shit, and you see couples' activities form divided groups of men and women. This sounds sexist, but these roles are still common. The women talk about raising their children, and the men busy themselves with some excuse not to be around them, such as grilling the meat. There they drink more than their wives would permit, and they talk about the good old days when they used to get laid and could do what they wanted, or they brag about their sons (vicariously enjoying his ability to get laid and do what he wants), or if the women are within earshot, they talk about remodeling. They don't have to bother excluding single people, because nobody in their right mind would voluntarily subject themselves to such a scenario, except perhaps at family gatherings.
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notageek
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 8:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol: :lol:
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell you what does my head in (being single) - 'single room supplement', wouldn't mind
if I was taking up a double, but most of the time you pay extra for a broom cupboard.

Also office christmas parties, everybody arrives in pairs - then again I am a deranged loner
- and normally manage to find an excuse to get away or not turn up.

Degue fever last year, I'll have to be a bit more creative this time around.
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wah_wah_69
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The worst part is when friends/relatives try to hook you up with somebody.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wah_wah_69 wrote:
The worst part is when friends/relatives try to hook you up with somebody.

Sometimes this is okay, but it can lead to awkward dates.
For example, I once had a friend try to hook me up with a hideous woman. He assured me that she was very cute. She was not, at all.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

John-Boy wrote:
Tell you what does my head in (being single) - 'single room supplement', wouldn't mind
if I was taking up a double, but most of the time you pay extra for a broom cupboard.

Also office christmas parties, everybody arrives in pairs - then again I am a deranged loner
- and normally manage to find an excuse to get away or not turn up.

Degue fever last year, I'll have to be a bit more creative this time around.

More creative than dengue fever? :lol:
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
More creative than dengue fever? :lol:


In all seriousness, I did once fake a blood test to get away from a 'team building session',
it was a scavenger hunt as I recall with drinks afterwards.

Stuck a plaster on my arm and everything. Also got a bit of sympathy from some of the nice
secretaries
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notageek
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't try to be creative at-all, in these "team building sessions."

My standard reply would always be "I couldn't reach in time because I overslept. I was busy the night before." And I don't pick-up my phone, when someone tries to call. Sort of "fuck you" to everyone.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

People are mean to single people? I did not know that.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmitchell wrote:
People are mean to single people? I did not know that.


There's a bias - the single room thing above, portion sizes - social events (if you're the type),
outright hostility ? Haven't noticed,.doesn't exist, probably a few comments when out of earshot.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

John-Boy wrote:
dmitchell wrote:
People are mean to single people? I did not know that.


There's a bias - the single room thing above, portion sizes - social events (if you're the type),
outright hostility ? Haven't noticed,.doesn't exist, probably a few comments when out of earshot.


you guys deserve it. I am so #&&# tired cause of a bug going through the house. kids up because of it.

I'll be frank. I'm jealous of your freedom, and I will take it out on whomever can't properly sympathize with my scenario. (I am not really that big of a dick, but I think that might be the undercurrent).
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

juniper wrote:
I'll be frank. I'm jealous of your freedom


A few others have said that (normally after taking a phone call to deal with various
child related problems), suppose the grass is always greener - given a choice I'd have
liked to have settled down.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

While the freedom to do whatever is nice, being single does tend to suck in that there's no telling when, where, or with whom your next (unmasturbatory) lay will be.

*edit* Spelling of probably made-up word.


Last edited by nomilieu on Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nomilieu wrote:
in that there's no telling when, where, or with whom your next (unmasterbatory) lay will be.


I've been told that marriage gets like that. Eventually.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nomilieu wrote:
While the freedom to do whatever is nice, being single does tend to suck in that there's no telling when, where, or with whom your next (unmasterbatory) lay will be.

At least that's better than knowing for sure it's going to be with Jabba the Huttress over there, who is also on your case because she wants the nursery redone with ducks and you never take her anywhere and grown men do not play computer games and why do you always have to pick your teeth after you eat and when are you going to get her a new car don't you know Brian just got Joyce a nice Volvo...
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BoneKracker wrote:
nomilieu wrote:
While the freedom to do whatever is nice, being single does tend to suck in that there's no telling when, where, or with whom your next (unmasterbatory) lay will be.

At least that's better than knowing for sure it's going to be with Jabba the Huttress over there, who is also on your case because she wants the nursery redone with ducks and you never take her anywhere and grown men do not play computer games and why do you always have to pick your teeth after you eat and when are you going to get her a new car don't you know Brian just got Joyce a nice Volvo...
Well said.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nomilieu wrote:
While the freedom to do whatever is nice, being single does tend to suck in that there's no telling when, where, or with whom your next (unmasterbatory) lay will be.


yeah, it is really exhausting walkling past the Davidwache, looking at all those sexy whores and trying to decide which one will get your money in exchange of some wiener-ham wallet interaction.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

energyman76b wrote:
wiener-ham wallet interaction.

"Ja, gut! Ve getten sie zum viener-ham in der schnitzel-vahlet undt sie thumpinpumpin!" :lol:
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

John-Boy wrote:
juniper wrote:
I'll be frank. I'm jealous of your freedom


A few others have said that (normally after taking a phone call to deal with various
child related problems), suppose the grass is always greener - given a choice I'd have
liked to have settled down.


yeah, the grass is always greener. I wouldn't trade it, but wouldn't mind a break once in a while.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

juniper wrote:
yeah, the grass is always greener. I wouldn't trade it, but wouldn't mind a break once in a while.

Exactly. I start to miss the little guy pretty quickly. Ever have the experience of losing internet access and wondering just what the hell you used to do with computers before the web? Being away from my kid is kind of like that. I start to wonder what the hell I was doing with my life before.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

/facepalm
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 2:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not facepalm. His son is going to be The One, who will lead the Libertarian Revolution against SkyBorgHopeHiveMindTwitBook.gov.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 3:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Of-course.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmitchell wrote:
juniper wrote:
yeah, the grass is always greener. I wouldn't trade it, but wouldn't mind a break once in a while.

Exactly. I start to miss the little guy pretty quickly. Ever have the experience of losing internet access and wondering just what the hell you used to do with computers before the web? Being away from my kid is kind of like that. I start to wonder what the hell I was doing with my life before.


indeed. one of those contradictions in life. TGIF now has a friend: TGIM.
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